The Aisle
As we approach Father’s Day, my father used to say you can get anything you need (almost) in a hardware store. Like Ogden Avenue itself which runs for miles from the city through the suburbs and into the country, if its not at the hardware store, it doesn’t exist and you don’t need it.
There is something almost mystical about The Aisle at any Ace Hardware store. It happened again this morning.
Ace Hardware stores are like Veterans Hospitals, they all look and smell the same, with different entrances. Every Ace Hardware I have been in across the country has The Aisle. An aisle with thousands of drawers, tray and bins filled with millions of screws, bolts, nuts, washers, fasteners, anchors, clips and more.
You are both excited and overwhelmed, kind of like going to Bass Pro or Cabelas for a specific jig, lure or swim bait.
As you approach The Aisle you hear Fleetwood Mac or Bee Gees from the ceiling speakers between store wide announcements.
With a specific screw, bolt, nut or combination thereof, seemingly out of nowhere, a man named Robert, Joseph or Thomas asks you what you are looking for. He prefers to go by Bob, Joe or Chuck. You see his Vietnam Veteran hat but know not to ask any questions.
You tell him you are not sure and open your palm to show him what needs to replaced due to stripping, rust, or some other malady.
Bob, Joe or Chuck immediately recognize it as a 12 mm machine bolt with full fine thread that likely came out from a piece of metal furniture or from a grill or suspension on a domestic made truck produced after 2013. He could likely tell you where that bolt was made and where the one you are buying was made.
No more words are spoken. You hand him the hardware. He walks to the appropriate tray, bin or drawer as if he had just been there, and likely has, hundreds of times. At Home Depot, you would be lucky to find a kid who knows what a screw or bolt is and can find the aisle without his phone.
He finds you a match, checks the diameter , head size and thread size, and size washer, nut or fastener. He asks if you want it in zinc. You are not sure. He tells you. He offers you a box of 50 and a single one. He already knows which one you need but it is a retail operation.
You grab the replacement hardware and tear off a plastic bag and try to write the part number and 0.19 on plastic with a ball point pen. There will be confusion at the check out counter.
On your way out of the aisle, Bob, Joe or Chuck asks you if you need anything else, what other projects you have and if you saw the new belt sanders they just got in. He spots a bolt or screw in the wrong bin and moves it to its proper place.
#acehardware #hardwarestore #nutsandbolts
