June 26, 2019

Top Ten Reasons Why Pathology is Better than Men

BY Dr. Keith J. Kaplan

Since I started college in 1988, I have kept this book purchased at the student bookstore for $1.25 at the time (tag finally fell off) to record quotes, largely from faculty and mentors. They range from the simple “It’s better to be lucky than smart” and “Blue is bad” when referring to pathology during the first pathology lecture. There are hundreds of quotes such as from our first year gross anatomy professor, “Gross anatomy ends; Indiana basketball begins, what more to life is there?”, lexicons, lists and mini-stories.

Several years ago the book went missing. I gave up looking for it and then, seemingly out of nowhere it should have been, it has resurfaced.

My medical school class was 51% female. I don’t recall the why but I did record the actual list as you see it from the females that put this together. More quotes and lists to follow including Why Pharmacology is Better than Women in response to this list. David Letterman was popular at the time. So, with apologies to The Late Show with David Letterman:

 

Top Ten Reasons Why Pathology is Better than Men

10. Pathology lecturers still pay attention to you even after they get their point across.

9. Pathology lecturers won’t notice if you fall asleep – and they keep going.

8. Pathology lecturers have an overhead projector [old school] a 3-foot magic wand.

7. Pathology lecturers have sexy foreign accents.

6. Pathology comes with a 1000-page instruction book (plus a pocket version).

5. Pathology small group sessions – personal attention for once in medical school.

4. The pathology lecturer always apologizes even if he/she is late by even 1 minute.

3. Slides are enlarged and bigger than life.

2. Frozen sections.

And the number one reason why pathology is better than men:

1. A lecture lasts 50 minutes or more.

 

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